An Open Letter to the Red Sox Nation

Congratulations! You've gone and landed yourself a couple of former Phillies, sterling but loudmouth righthander Curt Schilling and nice guy but wishy-washy manager Terry Francona. And now you're probably wondering what you've gotten yourself into.

In Schilling you have a perennial Cy Young Award candidate, a throwback power pitcher who will give the Red Sox innings, strikeouts, and a ferocious desire to take the ball in big games. Schilling's baseball ability is matched only by his uncontrollable tendency to be a huge pain in the ass. He's colorful and outspoken and always gets his way while somehow claiming it wasn't him. Schilling forced a trade from the Phillies, then said he never demanded it, and he forced the most recent deal between the Sox and the D'backs less than two weeks after telling a Philadelphia Inquirer reporter that he would accept a trade to the Phillies or Yankees only. When he starts pledging eternal love to Boston, have your fun but don't believe him -- he'll have changed his mind by the time daylight rolls around.

As for Francona, if you thought Grady Little gave players a free pass, you ain't seen nothing yet. He couldn't even handle Bobby Abreu when he was in Philadelphia; Manny Ramirez will leave cleat marks on his back. It'll be interesting to see what Francona do now that he has players; his tenure with the Phillies, whose lineup was hardly fear-inducing, produced exactly zero winning seasons.

So good luck! Hope to see you in the World Series.

Best,
Tom
Shallow Center