Torture Chamber

Local sportswriter Sal Paolantonio gets the honor of writing the ESPN.com Page 2 piece explaining Philadelphia's selection by the Deuce's Cold Pizza as the country's second most tortured sports city. Ever the former political reporter, Sal Pal delves into America's origins, when the fledgling nation's government fled to Washington and its financial center beat a path to New York, to explore Philly's perpetual second-city status. With the Phillies contending (though by no means a lock) in a polished diamond of a ballpark, in the shadow of Veterans Stadium's rapidly decreasing rubble pile, Paolantonio speculates that maybe, just maybe, the Philadelphia curse has been exorcised.

As for the local faithful's notorious mean streak, he runs a great quote from Larry Bowa:

"They work for every dollar they earn," said Bowa, who was on the '80 [Phillies] championship team. "Nothing is given to these people. They're blue-collar workers. They love to see people get their uniform dirty. They love to see people put in time at their job. They love to see passion, emotion."

Now, the No. 1 most tortured city will be revealed Tuesday. The obvious suspects -- Boston, Chicago, and Buffalo -- have already appeared on the list. There are just two major metro areas that have sporting legacies but are not represented: Los Angeles and New York. Given the Lakers' recent success, you'd be hard-pressed to call what passes for fans in the City of Angels tortured. (That's a little harsh, I guess; you can find a real fan or two in Southern California.) They wouldn't dare choose New York, would they? I know the Yankees haven't won a World Series in, like, three years, but still. Calling New Yorkers tortured sports fans would be insane even by sports media (official motto: "If it happens in New York, it's NEWS TO YOU. So sit back and read it, loser boy.") standards, wouldn't it?

Wouldn't it?