Friday, August 20, 2004

Morning Bytes; Fitzpatrick Bites

Filing again from Athens, Frank checks in today with an effort reminiscent of my weaker pieces at the college paper for which I wrote. I mean, it's barely worth mocking.

The key word, of course, being "barely."

Today's mail-it-in effort is a listing of lesser-known "events" in Olympic history. Like Mary Lou Retton being penalized points for perkiness. And the IOC denying a U.S. request to make NASCAR racing an event. And the first Los Angeles games including the new sports of Meditation, Ostentation, and Instant Gratification. I'll give you a minute to catch your breath -- all of that laughter is tough, isn't it? This week's ethnic slur is directed at the British:

1948: After a long absence caused by World War II, the Games resume in London. A Paraguayan fencer loses several teeth when he takes an epee in the mouth. He is flown to Paris for treatment after officials fail to locate a dentist in Britain.

Frank Fitzpatrick, ladies and gentlemen. Frank Fitzpatrick.


At August 20, 2004 at 1:28 PM, Blogger Tom G. said...

I think I actually heard a drum snare at the end of that one.

At August 20, 2004 at 2:31 PM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

What is this?

1964: Sergei Vodka takes the pole vault in Tokyo. He serves 15 years for robbery after the delegation back in Moscow decides to press charges.

Why does he bother? It's awful.

At August 20, 2004 at 3:44 PM, Blogger Wyatt Earp said...

I would suggest that we all deluge him and his editor (if he has one) with hate e-mail, but what good would it do? If the folks at the Inky haven't fired his ass yet, they never will.


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