Favor of the Weak

We've all been agonizing over the Phillies' implosion, most recently manifested in today's sweep by the Astros, but in a sense they've done us a huge favor. Rather than postponing their inevitable second-half collapse until September, they've gone ahead and gotten it out of the way in August. This is undeniably considerate.

It means that I'll be able to enjoy going to the Park Tuesday to see them play the Braves in a meaningless game. Thank God! No needless worrying over such insignificant things as the score, the number of games behind, the lame rotation, the tattered bullpen, the inconsistent offense, the ineffective coaching staff, the clueless front office -- none of that stuff will matter! Instead I'll be able to concentrate on my Schmitter and my beer and whether to hit the Philadium or the Cherry Street Tavern after the game.

And in a few weeks, when I'm scarfing down lobster rolls and relaxing on the beach in East Dennis, I won't have to scan the Cape Cod Times for wire stories and box scores. I'll be able to concentrate fully on my vacation, secure in the knowledge that final scores are of no consequence and that there will be no need for Larry Bowa to set up his playoff rotation and rest key position players.

By taking swift action and putting this year's failure on the table sooner rather than later, the Phillies have done a civic duty -- the only thing they might have done better was to concede the playoffs by the All-Star break, and some of us had our suspicions even then. Whoever says ballplayers are selfish sure hasn't experienced this bunch.