Friday, August 27, 2004

Morning Bytes; Fitzpatrick Bites

In what I assume is his final Morning Bytes missive from Athens, Frank offers "some additional Olympic lists," which, distilled, are a mixture of no-f***in'-shit "observations" ("Though the Games were created to foster a spirit of international community, what you see most frequently is a strident, flag-waving nationalism."), impossibly lame attempts at bashing ("Mascots. Why does Athens, birthplace of Western civilization, feel the need to be represented by two clumsy, gigantic amoebas?"), and -- surprise, surprise -- painfully unsuccessful stabs at bringing the funny ("Five favorite clothing articles: 1. Kerri Walsh's bikini. ... 5. Kerri Walsh's other bikini.").

Oh, yeah, the ethnic slurs -- how could I have forgotten? Were you aware that Japanese people like electronics, and that Europeans like to rag on American reporters about President Bush?

And the traditional media wonders why it's losing readers ... .


At August 27, 2004 at 3:02 PM, Blogger Mark said...

Come to think of it, it's probably easier to write about how sad the Phillies are than how sad Frank's column is. At least the Phillies find new ways to be bad. Frank just uses the same formula week in, week out. And to think that the Inky actually paid for him to stay in Greece for two weeks worth of columns he probably wrote while waiting to get through airport security at Philadelphia International.

At August 27, 2004 at 11:03 PM, Blogger Tom G. said...

I had never heard of the guy until Tom started writing about him, but I can't help but wonder: if he really is that un-funny, maybe the Inqy sent him over there just to get him out of the office and away from them for two weeks.

At August 28, 2004 at 1:22 AM, Blogger Wyatt Earp said...

Tom G. - Now, there's a brilliant plan! The editors get rid of him, and since they obviously never read his stuff, have a Fitz-less fortnight.

You know, this is surely the most anyone has talked about Frank's "columns," well, ever. I find it amazing, though, that he can throw around the ethnic slurs in a PC world, and not suffer the consequences.


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